How to Break Free from the Stockholm Syndrome

Have you ever felt tied down by an online marketplace, like Amazon, eBay, and yet, even with all the struggles, you can't seem to break free?

 You know the fees are high, the policies are unfair, and yet, here you are, still sticking it out because... well, what other choice do you have, right?

You’re not alone. Many online sellers experience what could be described as a kind of “Stockholm syndrome” when it comes to their relationship with these platforms.

Today, we’ll talk about Stockholm syndrome—what it is, how it affects your online business, and what you can do to overcome this metaphorical captivity.

First off, what is Stockholm Syndrome?

Stockholm syndrome is a psychological phenomenon where hostages develop emotional bonds with their captors, sometimes defending or supporting them, despite the harm caused.

The term came from a 1973 bank robbery in Stockholm, Sweden, where hostages grew close to their captors during the six-day standoff. Weird, right? But when you think about it, the brain has a funny way of coping with fear and anxiety.

Now, translate that to the world of e-commerce: You feel exploited or trapped by a platform’s high fees, unpredictable policies, or ruthless competition, but you stay because you’ve built something there and it feels impossible to leave.

Whether it's Amazon taking a large chunk of your profits, eBay’s ever-changing policies, or smaller platforms that promise support but fall short—you often develop an emotional attachment to these systems, even when the relationship is harmful.

How does it affect you as an online seller?

Let’s face it—whether you're selling on Amazon, eBay, Etsy, or even a smaller niche platform, it can feel like you're caught in a cycle of dependence. How does this syndrome manifest for online sellers?

First, let’s look at giant platforms like Amazon or eBay.

We both know that Amazon is the king of e-commerce, but with great power comes... a lot of headaches for sellers like you. Amazon fees can gobble up 30-40% of your profit margins, especially with FBA costs, referral fees, and ad spend. 

Despite these sky-high costs, you might feel like sticking around because, well, Amazon delivers customers, traffic, and visibility. But at what cost? You often feel chained to the platform, thinking, “Where else can I get this kind of exposure?”

Similarly, eBay can have unpredictable fee structures, and both platforms impose strict rules that can make you feel powerless. For example, a sudden algorithm change or account suspension can leave you scrambling. Yet, you choose to stay because you fear losing access to millions of potential buyers.

As e-commerce expert Steve Chou says, "Platforms like Amazon make it easy to set up shop, but the downside is that you're building your business on someone else's land. And when they decide to change the rules, you're at their mercy." It’s a sentiment many sellers can relate to.

What about smaller niche platforms? Do they affect you the same way? Or is it easier to break away from them?

On smaller platforms, the dependency might not be about traffic but promises of community and support. Platforms like Etsy claim to champion artisans, but recent complaints about increased fees and inconsistent rule enforcement have made sellers question their loyalty.

In 2022, Etsy sellers organized a strike over rising fees, which increased from 5% to 6.5%, despite the platform promising them growth and support.

The reality is, no matter the platform, sellers often feel emotionally attached—even when the relationship feels one-sided. You’ve spent time, energy, and resources building your brand there, and walking away feels like throwing all that hard work down the drain.

Here are two questions you need to ask yourself—and your answers could either boost your online business or bring it down.

First, how do you break free from this digital captivity? And second, how do you regain control over your business if you're still grappling with the aftermath of Stockholm syndrome?

Here are some steps you can take to shift your business mindset and reclaim your freedom.

1. Diversify Your Sales Channels

You’ve probably heard this before, but it’s worth repeating—don’t put all your eggs in one basket. While it’s tempting to stick with a platform that’s delivering sales, diversification is key to long-term growth.

Expand to other platforms, set up your own website using Shopify or WooCommerce, and invest in email marketing to build a direct relationship with your customers. 

According to Jason Boyce, a former top Amazon seller turned e-commerce consultant, "Diversification is critical to survival. Sellers who depend solely on Amazon will be in trouble when that revenue stream dries up. Build your brand outside of Amazon to retain control."

2. Understand Your Financials

Know exactly how much money you’re losing to fees and costs associated with a platform. If Amazon or eBay is eating up 30-40% of your profits, is that truly sustainable in the long run?

Tools like Jungle Scout or Helium 10 offer analytics that can show you where you’re bleeding money. Once you have a clear picture, you can decide if it’s worth staying, or if it’s time to scale back and shift focus to other channels.

3. Set Boundaries with Your Platform

You can’t always avoid the policies or fees imposed by big platforms, but you can set limits on how much power they have over your business.

For example, you can decide to use Amazon purely for lead generation while driving loyal customers to your own website through social media, customer emails, and special promotions. Create a strategy that leverages the platform’s strengths without becoming too dependent. 

4. Find Support Communities

While you may feel isolated in your struggles, there are communities of sellers facing the same challenges. Facebook groups like Amazon FBA High Rollers or forums, such as The Seller Forums offer advice, emotional support, and tips on diversifying sales channels.

Sometimes just hearing how others have successfully broken free from their platform dependency can give you the confidence to do the same.

5. Prepare for the Aftermath

If you’ve already made the decision to move away from a platform that’s draining you, it’s okay to feel uncertain or even fearful. Breaking free from Stockholm syndrome in e-commerce can feel like starting over, but it’s a chance to regain control over your business.

Use this time to strengthen your brand, focus on customer relationships, and create a plan that puts you in the driver’s seat.

Remember, You’re in Charge

The first step to overcoming e-commerce Stockholm syndrome is recognizing it. If you’ve been feeling stuck, dependent, or at the mercy of a platform that’s treating you unfairly, it’s time to take action. You have more control than you think. 

By diversifying, setting boundaries, and building your brand on solid ground, you’ll find that you don’t need to rely on any one platform for success.

So, what’s your next move? It’s time to take back your business, and your freedom.

That’s it! Just remember, you’ve built something amazing, and you deserve to be in full control of it.

Stay tuned for more practical e-commerce advice.